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Am I "overreacting" when I get upset if my husband insults my choice in food?
For example, tonight he called my choice of snack, "skunk turd flavor". I made a hot pocket in the microwave. He has been calling it all sorts of insulting names and insisting we must throw out the microwave because I've "contaminated" it.
Also, whenever I eat Mediterranean or Middle Eastern food such as couscous or hummus or basil pesto or suggest making any of these things he calls them anything from "dry wall filler" to "wallpaper paste" and all sorts of unsavory names. He does the same with my skim milk by calling it "watery glue".
He claims that I'm the one with the problem because I'm interpreting all of these declarations to be insults when they're not...they're just ways he's showing his dislike for those food products.
I think that since eating those kinds of foods involves a choice on my part, it's insulting me because it's saying I'm making gross choices. I think it's picking on me to say those things. I don't make him eat them and they're considered socially acceptable foods - yet he continually insists on calling the things I eat derogatory names.
I've asked him to stop because often everything he insults is healthy food. He won't insult full fat milk, butter, cheese, meat etc. but he calls my spring greens salad mix "lawn clippings". He will even make fun of my food sometimes if I choose not to have meat in it like spaghetti with marinara instead of meat sauce.
I've already put on 30 pounds in the last year and a half because I've stopped eating most of the foods he makes fun of because it bothers me so much.
Who is right?
No Mercy - The microwave snack was a rarity. I DO eat healthy including very little in the way of processed foods. Also, I have a number of medical conditions that restrict what I can eat and how I can exercise so I'm very aware of both of these things but thanks for jumping to conclusions. I cannot even touch low-fat and low-calorie foods if they are processed due to these conditions. Also, there is a difference between using fats as a small part of a daily diet (as I do) and slathering on 2 tablespoons of butter to each slice of bread whenever one makes a sandwich. As for thinking it's "hilarious", not everyone is as callous as you. Some people have a heart.
No Mercy - Please, do no encourage people to switch to an Atkins-style diet. Studies have shown the numerous medical risks this type of diet poses. http://www.webmd.com/diet/high-protein-low-carbohy... Some of the side effects can include kidney failure, kidney stones, and high cholesterol.
Additional details - I have talked to him about it using phrases like, "when you do this it makes me feel sad because..." and "your use of derogatory names for my healthy food causes me to avoid those foods so I won't have to listen to you make fun of them"...it hasn't changed his behavior. I can't avoid taking the insults personally (10 years of verbal abuse and not enough $ for a shrink...telling someone to stop taking things personally is as effective as telling someone learn to swim when they're drowning ) so getting him to stop is the only way to fix this.
5 Answers
- Anonymous7 years ago
ok, first of all, fat milk, butter and cheese are NOT bad foods. they are very good for u IF u eat them in little quantity. low fat and low sugar foods are very bad for u because they contain colourants and taste enhancers and what not because fat and sugar are the things which give taste to food, so if u have not enough of those u must add smth else. which is not good for u. having said that I find your husband hilarious and if it were me and my husband was making fun of my food I would just laugh. why re u so offended? to me what he said was funny, I will remember some of his metaphors and tell my husband and friends in the evening. he should be a comedian. and if u out on 30 pounds u should stop eating carbs (yes, hummus) and microwave food. u should eat proteins (yes, cheese and eggs and meat and fish) and vegetables in SMALL QUANTITIES. if u want a snack - eat a fruit. also u must start moving. I suggest once u go on an all proteins no carbs diet u start moving like 30 min per day (brisk walking is very good for exercising, but it must be brisk) and in a few weeks u add walking till u walk for 1 hour. good luck to u and don't be pissed at your husband - he is funny.
- Anonymous7 years ago
Then talk to him? It doesn't matter who's right and wrong. That's what ruins marriages. Pick your battles. Your smelly foods won't matter 10 years from now. Clean the microwave by putting vinegar in a cup on 2 minutes and wiping clean with a wet wash cloth. Take what he says with a grain of salt its no big deal.
- 7 years ago
uh you are especially when you arent making him eat the food you shouldnt have to change your preferences because he doesnt like them sure you guys are together but its not like you are the same biological entity now dont get back at him because as they say and eye for an eye makes the world blind. hes being a dick in my opinion. i personally have a completely different taste in food from my girlfriend and we get along fine if youre eating out find a place that suits both your preferences to avoid conflict also if youre the one who is cooking/slaving over the hot stove than honestly he doesnt have any right to be picky about your food make him cook dinner seven nights a week and see how he likes it.
Source(s): me myself and i as the one in the relationship who cooks. - Barb OuthereLv 77 years ago
Its not the food that is the problem, he wants you fat. Whether that's because he prefers big girls, or whether it makes him feel more secure if you are less attractive to other men, or because he is insecure in himself and it pleases him to bring you to his level, I don't know.
But allowing ANYONE to stop you making healthy choices is a very real problem in itself, and his INSULTS (you are perfectly correct on that) need to be addressed, and stopped.
By the way YOU can choose to reverse this weight gain, and should.