Help with stable humiliation?

It would be best to just ignore this woman- if she doesn't know enough to call a farrier to fix her horse's hooves, why are you listening to anything she says? She's probably just angry as she can;t ride her horse as it is lame, saw you and decided to take her anger out on you.

If it really does bother you what she said, ask another boarder who you trust, or your farrier, what they think of your pony's body condition.

Stop hiding and get out there- so what if your pony got through winter with extra body fat? At least he isn't lame like her horse! Prove her wrong- use her cruel words as incentive to learn as much about horse care as you can and make your pony the best cared for at that agistment centre! That way no one will be able to say that you are a cruel horse owner. Everyone will then be saying how lucky and spoilt your pony is (my horse is very spoilt, he has several halter and a complete weatherbeeta rug range that I update every couple of years).

What a 8itch she sounds!

Clearly she has no idea what she is talking about, especially if her own horse is lame! She obviously isn't able to take care of it very well! She has no right to tell you how to feed or treat your horse if she can't take proper care of her own!

Sadly people like this do exist, in far greater numbers than we would like. She will not be the last person who will tell you what you do is wrong. These people rejoice in pointing out small things (like an overweight pony) and informing you of what you should do instead. Very rarely do these people actually know what they are talking about, so you are best to ignore them.

And anyway, why would you listen to someone who doesn't know when to call a farrier?

Has anyone ever insulted my ability to ride and care for my horse? Absolutely. Usually these people don't own their own horse and are simply jealous. I suspect this woman is jealous that your horse is in great shape, and she knows it, but just wants to upset you, which makes her feel better about having a lame horse. Perhaps someone pointed out how well kept your horse is compared to hers, so she is feeling resentful toward you.

Your best choice of moving on is to keep caring for your pony, in fact learn more to better your care of him. This will be the best form of revenge- having the best cared for horse at the agistment centre. In fact, next time you go riding, ride past her and ask how her lame horse is- her expression will be priceless.

Honestly, the best thing to do is completely blank her and walk away.

I always find the people who are most likely to be spiteful and rude are the ones who can't do a good job themselves, this woman's horse is lame by her own fault so she's trying to shift blame, make herself look better and someone else worse and it was just unfortunate that you wound up in the firing line.

You know you're doing the best for your pony, and so long as he is not suffering it has nothing to do with anyone how you care for him but you. Don't be afraid to see her, if she goes at you again turn around and walk away - just completely blank her. Or laugh in her face, that one works as well :P.

You will always get someone in life who tries to mess up your day, a couple of times I've had people say things about the way I care for my horse or the methods I use. Luckily I don't tend to get upset by people that easily, and the comments have never been from anyone I remotely respect or look up to. I've also perfected the art of pulling the 'you're a complete idiot' face, that usually works in many ways when being confronted by a dick head.

All the time this happens, sometimes worse. At my barn, right now everyone is missing grooming supplies, and they are blaming me, though I am missing stuff as well and am innocent.., they called me a kleptomaniac, a person who's addicted to stealing things. Which isn't true. I just don't talk to that person anymore and if they talk to me I just give 1 worded response. How are you, they say? I say "fine". I don't work up a conversation.

One time a person at the barn said that my horse was too thin. He's a TB. They said he was wayyy to skinny and I am a lousy horse owner. I should feed him more! But he is the perfect weight for a TB

At my last barn a person came up to me and asked me why my horse had thrush. I said because the soil is really moist and everything is wet around her. They said their horse didnt have thrush, "but they do regularly care for her feet." I said "I take very good care of my horses feet." And she said it is consider animal cruelty to not pick the hooves out properly. She proceeded to grabbing a hoof pick from my grooming box and was about to "show me how to do it properly" when she realized I had been picking out everything there is to pick... There were many people around when this happened. I just ignore it. If you are taking good care of your horse, their opinion shouldn't matter one way or another.

Yeah, I know how that feels!

I had only been riding about 11 months, and was at my first ever show, waiting for the events to start when a group of little kids ran over to me and my beautiful jet black horse! They ran behind him and in front of him, one little girl even crawled under his belly! The last kid, a boy didn't seem to know what to do so he just ran into my horse's hind leg, then crawled under his belly and ran off with the others! I stood there in shock, and my horse stood there like a rock, as though stuff like this happened all the time! The last I saw of those kids was when they were running behind the group of ponies tied in the holding stalls, with a black pony rearing in fright and a bunch of adults running over.

Later in the show ring, a minute before the first event started, a woman stormed up to me and yelled that my horse had kicked her son- she had seen my black horse do it! She yelled at me right in front of all the other horse people! Even worse, a woman who I thought was my friend said that she had seen my horse kick the boy and that if I couldn't control my horse, I had no right to be at a horse show! After that, all the other riders and their parents gave me dirty looks and wouldn't talk to me. This included the rider of the black pony who did kick the boy. It completely ruined my show experience, and I have not spoken to that woman since.

I'm not sure if I have gotten over it, I still remember it and feel upset and angry to have been accused like that, but then I just go for a ride and work on becoming a better rider and so no one can ever say such things to me again.

Don't be afraid to show your face around the stable- it sounds like the other people there think that you are doing a good job caring for your pony, so just ignore that one woman.

i totally agree with everything alien said

and i mean everything

report her she is nothing but a bully. as long as you are taking care of your pony and having regular vet and farrier visits you have nothing to worry about. sometimes a little flesh is a good thing to have in the winter.

yes i have had it happen and yes it is very traumatic and scary when some bully just comes up to you with no provocation.

for me i would carry my phone or mp3 and play the darth vader theme if she came up to me again really loudly and say oh here comes the bully again. or what did you have a bad day again and have to pick on me to make yourself feel better.

since her horse is lame it seems like she was doing that to get attention off of her and onto you. to make herself APPEAR to be a kind, caring horse owner.

It doesn't matter if you know that woman was wrong, it still hurts and can shake your confidence in your ability. This I do know, very well, unfortunately.

I like to see my horses carry good weight coming out of winter, as winter can be hard on horses and a lot do lose condition through burning their own body fat and muscle just to keep warm. It sounds like your horse would pass my inspection with flying colours. True, overly fat is not healthy for anyone (horse or human), but it is far better to the alternative- under weight!

If this makes you feel better, those other women said that your pony was in good condition, and they did not say that just to make you feel better. If they had thought he was over weight, they would have politely offered to help you come up with a diet to help lose some of the fat. Only rude people bluntly say that your pony is fat and tell you what to do!

If you still feel uncertain about your pony's condition, call the vet and ask them to come give your horse a check up (teeth and body condition and vaccinations if he is due). The vet will tell you straight if your pony is in good condition or not, and you can ask them about a suitable diet.

Or you could ask the owner of the horse in the best condition what they think of your horse, and if they have any pointers to give you so you can care for him better. I guarantee that this person will be happy to take a look at your pony, and offer some suggestions- horse people love helping others to learn better horse care (maybe as it lets us show off how much we know ourselves)!

And next time that woman says something about the way you care for your pony, tell her that at least he (or she) is not lame, like that woman's horse is. Her horse is lame due to her lack of ability to care for it. She is not someone who is in a position to tell you how to care for a horse when she can't do such a simple thing as call a farrier!

I have experienced something similar when I went riding with a girl I was friends with for about seven months. I had told her that I had been riding for years and owned my own horse for about five years at that point, but as we were getting ready to ride, she decided to tell me how to mount a horse as if I had never ridden before! She put on a show, showing how to properly hold the reins once in the saddle, then demonstrated how to mount. Before she was even in the saddle her horse started walking off and she had to hop after him on one leg! She obviously wasn't the experienced rider she claimed she was, and every time she told a story about how great she was at riding, I would remind her of that day we went riding and her horse walked off while she was trying to mount! She hates it, but our friends love it as she is a bit of a show-off.

Don't make a fuss about it. People like her thrive on this. Shrug her off and ask her, if she has no life of her own, that she has to live yours as well. And maybe you could add: By the way, don't you have enough to do with your own lame horse?

There is no reason to be humiliated. If you like your horse as it is, than that is your decision. As long as it's healthy you have to stand to it.

I've experienced the same problem. My horse naturally loses loads of weight in winter. Someone at my yard criticised me saying I was cruel and didn't feed him. I ignored her. He goes on alpha oil in winter now to help him keep the weight on but the point is I didn't listen to her. My horse was healthy and I knew it.