Poem: Have you ever chased rain clouds?

Question

The Late Twentieth Century

Day after day of sun baked, heat of a drought
the thermometer's about to burst
puffy white clouds float in bright summer blue skies
not a drop to quench our building thirst

Baby, is it still hot out there on the porch?
'cause I'm burning up real bad inside
Maybe we could put some warm breeze in our hair
I'd do anything to go for a ride 

We packed a lunch basket and we loaded the car
We headed to the hills west of town
Before we had driven, not half the way there
Huge raindrops had begun to come down

We stopped the car off from the highway a bit
Got out and danced wildly in the rain
People drove by us honking their nosy horns
They probably could think us insane.

Soon quite soaked to the bone in cool wet release
Unspoken and just laughing away
We took the long way back home, followed that cloud
When its hot now I think of that day

cassie58 · Accepted Answer

Sensual - very much so. There is something wonderful about rainfall that comes after a drought. Just to stand in it and get drenched from head to toe. Like taking an outside shower. I like the concept of chasing rain clouds. A good write Andy.

Thomas · Answer

Andy P

Of late have notice you writing more - am so glad.

Two things of your poem come to mind.  Structurally
the difficulty of negotiating an 11-9-11-10 syllable count
per stanza.  Well done sir.

The other thing was the realizing.  How many of us have
not experienced something like this?  My first thought was
in a boat up in Canada--fleeing from lightning and heavy rain
until the rain over took us, it looked like a tital wave was about
to hit.  :)       Good writing.

J.H. · Answer

Good! But some lines are a little funny. Here's what you can do to make them better.

they probably though we were insane
now whenever the rain comes I think of that day

just a suggestion =)

Caz :) x · Answer

'O dear I've come over all hot , How many hot day's do you have in America ? 
 If you think I'm going too start singing ''I'm singing in the rain, what a glorious feeling I'm happy again 
  Just singing and dancing in the rain .. Well.I'm Not .. but I am tap-dancing cos you take me to this sensually romantic place ...  Thanks :)  Lovely read :)

Geminisinger · Answer

I LOVE IT!If I was there I would have danced with you all.Great fun poem and a good ending!

Poem: Have you ever chased rain clouds?

5 Answers