Annalisa

Thanks in advance for taking the time to answer my question.

I am 27 years old and I think I have a great personality (typical fat girl thing to say, am I right? LOL...but I really mean it). I'm smart in the sense of having common sense, a good memory, social skills, and a good work ethic. I can add well in my head and not make stupid mistakes on the job. I'm very good with people generally and have some (though not recent) experience as a waitress.

I have recently relocated to San Diego and have a friend here who is taking a 2-week bartender's training course. Supposedly the course has job placement assistance if you complete it and do well. She's asked me if I would be interested in taking the course with her. My friend is very pretty and is always hit on by men. Obviously I think she'd make a great bartender; she has the looks to draw in customers. I, on the other hand, am not nearly as pretty as she is. I am overweight and aside from my weight, I am just average looking. I am clean and have good hygiene and dress nicely, I have good teeth and a nice smile and everything, but I am VERY average looking, I wear glasses, and I'm definitely overweight (not morbidly obese but close to obese...working on that very hard though; I've lost 24 lbs in the last 4 months). What I want to know is, please be honest here...do you think I can find employment in a San Diego bar if I am not a thin bikini body type? I think I'd be very good at the job otherwise, and I'm an honest hard-working person. I'm just afraid that most bars want skinny girls in revealing clothes to tend bar...it's all I ever see when I go out anywhere. I don't want to waste my money on the classes if I'll never find a job. Thanks!

I am a civilian and I am not asking this question for myself. My husband, however, is interested in the possibility of pursuing a Navy medical career. I was comparing the pay of a Navy Physician Assistant with what a civilian would make, and I found out that the pay grade starts at O-3, which is only $3835 a month. OUCH! That's low, considering he makes twice that now (and he's not even a PA yet).

OK so here are my questions: What are the benefits of being a PA in the Navy vs. civilian? When BAH and benefits are factored in (he has 4 dependents, including me), is the total package roughly equivalent to what he might make as a civilian? What are the chances for a PA to be promoted above O-2 or O-3 rank?

Also, this is a sort of unrelated question, but it's just because I'm ignorant of this stuff and I'm curious about it: on the Military Pay Charts, it shows the pay for someone with less than 2 years of service coming in. It shows pay ranks for O-6, O-7, and O-8 with less than 2 years' experience. How is that even possible for anyone to have those pay grades with less than 2 years' experience? What jobs could POSSIBLY start at that pay grade without being in the military for over a decade? Even doctors start at O-3, right? I'm just curious how it's possible for anyone to have such a high pay grade and what jobs those people have. Thanks in advance!

My husband is a transfer student (had a 2 year degree) to Arizona State University. When he was 17-19 and went to community college, he didn't focus as hard as he probably should have, and he had a couple B and C grades. This was a while ago. He has since worked full time for several years and decided to finish a 4-year degree so he could get a Master's after that and go into management. He is currently a student at ASU and is going to school full-time while also working full-time. He takes his studies very seriously now and is in his 3rd semester there as a straight-A student. He's even gotten some A+ grades on his transcript, so his GPA is over 4.0. My question is that if he continues to keep straight A's at ASU, can he graduate with distinction/honors even though his prior community college GPA from years ago was NOT a 4.0? Do they factor in only ASU grades when deciding who graduates with distinction, or is his junior college GPA factored in? Thanks in advance!

I bought a dog from a woman on Craigslist. She could no longer keep her because of her daughter's allergies. I have had her for about 5 months now. We love her! I took her to the vet to get her spayed and microchipped, but she already has a microchip registered to her old owner. I want to get the microchip changed to my name but the microchip company needs the old owner's permission to change it. I tried to call her and email her with the info from 5 months ago, but she won't return my emails and her phone is no longer in service. What do I do?

My family just purchased a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel who is a retired breeding dam. We do not plan to breed her, and would like to have her spayed. However, we JUST brought her home, and within a couple days of being here, she is already starting a heat cycle (beginning to have bloody discharge). We have one other dog, but he is neutered. Our vet has told us that he does not perform the spay surgery during the heat cycle, because it is more complicated and higher risk. So that having been said, how do we make it through this heat cycle? How much should we expect her to bleed, and for how long? We do not want her ruining our furniture or bedding or rug, but I don't want to keep her locked in a crate either. Any information or help would be appreciated! Thanks!

I'm 26, but I look at least 36. My hair is growing in gray, and I think I just generally look older. I never get carded for alcohol, and recently, someone mistook me for my best friend's mom (She's only 10 months younger than me)! I don't necessarily want to look 16 again, but I don't want to look so much older than I am. What are some tricks I could employ to look like I'm in my 20s instead of my 30s?

My sister was 17 when she had her daughter. Now she is 25, and her daughter is going to be 8 in a couple months. When my sister was in her first trimester of pregnancy, and early in her second trimester, she drank alcohol very heavily. I think she may have been planning on getting an abortion, or maybe she was just in denial about her pregnancy. She hid her pregnancy until she was 7 months pregnant. During the time when she was pregnant (I did not know she was pregnant at the time, but I knew, after the fact), she drank to the point of throwing up or passing out, on a few occasions. She also smoked cigarettes and marijuana, on occasion.

When my niece was born, she was very small (about 5 and a half pounds). She was not diagnosed with fetal alcohol syndrome, as she does not have the classic facial characteristics. My sister basically said to me at one point she was glad that she had dodged a bullet with that one, and that her daughter had "come out fine."

It's been 8 years since then, and obviously my sister has grown up a lot. She's a really good mom now and leads a totally clean and sober lifestyle. However, my niece is having some serious problems in school. He is almost 8 and is in 2nd grade, but she can't read at all. She doesn't even know her alphabet. I have no idea how she has managed to even pass Kindergarten and 1st grade, but her school recently evaluated her for learning disabilities, and said she has "significant delays."

In talking to me, my sister stated that she doesn't know why my niece has learning disabilities. I KNOW it is because my sister drank when she was pregnant. Is it worth saying so? My sister likes to re-write history in her mind, and pretend that her "mistakes" never happened. If I bring up the drinking from her past, is that going to be helpful? Will she actually consider that it might have contributed, and if so, can my niece get help? If nothing can be done to help kids with FAE, is it worth making my sister really angry by reminding her of her blackout drunk days and blaming her for my niece's problems?

My husband works full time, but doesn't make enough to have anything left over, after paying the bills. I am 8 months pregnant, and will have a newborn by Christmas. We also have a 6 year old daughter and a 4 year old daughter.

This holiday season is going to be a very lean time for us. Honestly, after we pay our rent, utilities, phone, and gas for my husband's commute to work, we have maybe $90 for the month. This is supposed to feed our whole family for the month. There's nothing left after that.

As you can see, I have no idea how to afford a holiday meal or presents for the kids, of any sort. I feel really badly about it. My girls are so good, kind, helpful, and well-behaved. They don't ask for much, but they do deserve it a lot more than a lot of bratty kids with fancy stuff. We don't even have TV at home (we could only afford TV OR internet, and we needed to choose internet, because I take online classes).

How can I make the holidays special for them, without spending money? Does anyone have a suggestion for fun things to do for kids, at Christmas? I am debating on seeing if I can sign up for an Angel Tree or something...I feel guilty because I don't like handouts, and I know there are people less fortunate than us, like the homeless. At least we have an apartment. I just want the kids to be happy on Christmas, because they really do deserve it.

I am almost 8 months pregnant with my third (and final) child. Both of my other children are girls, and this one is also going to be a girl. From the beginning, I knew with 100% certainty what name I would choose for the baby, if it was a boy. My mom loved the boy name, and I was hoping for a boy. Well, it is another girl, and after adjusting to that reality, I am quite happy to be a mom of another daughter. The only problem was that no one could agree on or support my choice in girl names.

After I found out it was a girl, I decided that I would really like to name her Fiona. Wow, after telling people that the baby was going to be named Fiona, you would have thought that I was going to name her Sackofcrap or something, the way people reacted to it! EVERYONE said it was an "ogre name" (because of those stupid Shrek movies), and no one would drop the subject. Finally, being sick and tired of hearing about how no one liked Fiona, I decided to go with something else.

Thinking and thinking on it, my husband and I decided (finally!) on the name Ivy. Ivy is a family name (on his side), so it had special meaning to it. It was simple, unfussy, classic, and a family name, so we decided to go with it and have it be a done deal. I even ran it by my mom, who didn't have anything negative to say about it.

The new problem is that my mom will NOT SHUT UP about the baby's middle name. The middle name I have chosen is Rebecca, after my closest friend and sister in law. Rebecca and I have been friends since childhood (she is like a sister to me), and we married brothers, so she is also my sister-in-law. She is a very important person in my life (my mom knows this), and I have decided to honor her by making the baby's middle name Rebecca. Well, for some reason, my mom WON'T shut up about the middle name! Keep in mind, even when I wanted to name the baby Fiona, her middle name was STILL going to be Rebecca. That was just something I knew from day 1, so to me, it's really not up for debate. However, every time my mom calls or emails me (literally - EVERY time), she says something like "I'm still rooting for..." or "I vote for..." and then she says a new middle name. Her suggestions, by the way, change almost every time. First it was Rose, then it was Jean, then it was Anna. I have NO idea why she keeps doing this. Ivy Rose is 2 plant names, so clearly I am not going to use that. Jean is a hideous name, and I don't even know anyone named Jean, so it's not like it's a special name. Anna is part of MY first name...so guess what, mom? You already got to use Anna, when you were naming ME! Honestly, it's not even that she has some other name she really wanted me to use. She just doesn't like Rebecca or want me to use it, for some reason.

I've told her, very politely, and no fewer than 20 times, that Rebecca is an important name to me, and that it is a done deal. She always says "ok ok, just think about it," and then brings it up again the next time we talk. I'm trying not to seem rude to her (she is really sensitive and cries easily), but I'm getting SO tired of this crap. I feel like it's an insult to me and to my sister-in-law/BFF that she keeps pushing for me not to use the name Rebecca.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to handle rude relatives, in a polite way? How should I talk to my mom without making her feel that I am being rude to her? She lives over 2,000 miles away, so I know that suggesting a name is just her way of feeling closer to the baby, but it's really getting to be an annoyance.

I am 11 weeks pregnant with my third child. My other 2 are 4 and 6. I am very happily married (yes, he is the father of all of them). We have been together for almost 10 years. However, our financial situation has changed for the worse in the past few months. This surprise pregnancy is really making me stress.

I have a few issues going on in my life:

My husband recently lost his good-paying job of 7 years' time. Fortunately, he was able to find a new one, but the one he found is 1800 miles away, and pays slightly less than what he was making here, although the area he is in now has a much higher cost of living. He just started this job, and it is now my burden to stay behind with the kids until our house sells. We will be downsizing from a 4 bedroom house that we owned, to a 2 bedroom apartment (all we can afford). I had to give our dog and cat to my parents, because we can't take them to the new apartment. It's very stressful, and I am stuck here alone until this house sells (in a bad market).

We lost our insurance. His new insurance kicks in after 3 months, but for his dependents (us), it takes 6 months.

To top things off, my best friend and her husband, who are well off and could really provide for a child, have been struggling with infertility. I talked to her and asked if she would consider adopting my baby. She thought about it but said it would be "too weird." Yet, she still seems to be resenting me for being pregnant. I really have no one to talk to about my feelings.

My question is: Is there a light at the end of the tunnel? Will I ever be excited about this child? Have any of you ever been in a similar situation, and we you able to come around and be happy about it in the end?

I have a contract with Sprint, where I have the everything data plan. However, I have a very cheap model phone, which was the free base model phone in October 2009, when I first activated the line/signed the contract. The phone has been damaged and sometimes does not work. However, I do not have insurance for replacement of the phone. Since the phone is an old model anyway, and also is not working well, I would like to get a new one. I am most interested in the 4g HTC Evo. Is there anyway that I can upgrade to the new phone without paying full price? I know that they have some deals where it is only around $150 with a new plan. Could I just extend my contact and get that price?

My brother-in-law lost both legs and 1.5 testes due to an IED explosion in Afghanistan (he is a Marine). He still has a portion of one testicle, so he produces a very small amount of sperm. He and his wife are trying to conceive, but their doctor said IVF will be the only way. The ONLY reason he is functionally infertile is a DIRECT result of battle injury. Is there any way that the military will cover IVF in this circumstance? I know that Tri-Care does not cover IVF, but this isn't regular infertility. It's very clearly the direct result of battle injuries. Therefore, it doesn't seem fair for them to have to pay $10,000 per cycle, which they really can't do. Thanks.

PS - yes for now, he is still Active military.

My sister and brother-in-law have been trying to have a baby for a few years. He is in the military. On his most recent deployment, he was severely injured and lost his legs. He also sustained injuries that have rendered him unable to father biological children. What resources are available to help them adopt a baby? They are white, but don't care about the race of the child. Thanks.

My brother-in-law is an amazing guy. He is a Marine who was serving in Afghanistan, and on June 24, he lost both of his legs in an IED blast.

Before deploying to Afghanistan, he had expressed his wish to his wife that he save up to buy some Chris Paul edition Nike Jordans. As a surprise for him, while he was gone, she bought him a pair, and she told him to look forward to his new Chris Pauls, when he got home...

Being the amazing guy he is, with an awesome sense of humor, he has tried to keep his chin up. The funny thing is that one of the first things he said to his wife, when he finally came back to the US to the Naval hospital in MD, was "I'm so grateful to be alive...but it's really too bad about those Chris Pauls."

What a guy, right! He 's barely even feeling sorry for himself, just sad that he can never wear his Chris Paul edition shoes...but I do want to do something special for him. If he can't wear his shoes, maybe I could get one of them autographed for him! I think it would be really special and he would cherish it forever as a special keepsake.

Does anyone know who I could contact to find out if I could send one of the shoes to Chris Paul to be signed? Thanks very much.

I have been married for 6 years, and I want out. I am just not at all happy, in my marriage, but that is not the point of this question. My husband and I have 2 girls together. They are 5 and 3. We own a home in a nice area, but I want to move out of state, for personal reasons.

Here are a few questions:

I really want to see my girls, as often as I possibly can. What I wish is that I could see them, every day. However, I am planning to move to a large city, which will be quite expensive, and I plan to go to school full time. This would pretty much necessitate me having roommates.

I want to keep the girls with me, but in thinking about what is truly best for them, it seems like it may be better to let them stay with their dad, in the house they are used to, where they live now, because they will have more attention, spend less time at a babysitter's house, and won't have their lives uprooted. I am hoping that after I finish school, I can get a bigger place, and they can spend more time with me.

Ok, so how does this work? If I let my husband keep the house and all our stuff, and he doesn't have to give me any of it, and he keeps the kids, most of the time, do I have to pay him child support? He makes very good money, and I will most likely be working as a waitress or something. Also, can I have the girls come visit me in the summers and on weekends, and things like that? How does that work out? Can the court (or my husband) keep me from moving out of state? If he has primary custody of them, do I still have equal legal say? Can my parents still come visit the girls, as they like?

Thank you.

I am dating a really cool and nice guy. I met him at a friend's theme costume party, but we lived in different cities, about 45 miles apart. We hit it off at the party, so we exchanged information, and talked a lot, on the phone, text, email, etc. After about a month of this, I was crazy about him! But, there's a problem...when we got together in person, NOT at a costume party, I realized that he has the ABSOLUTE WORST sense of style...ever.

I am not trying to be shallow; there are lots of different ways to dress nicely. He misses the mark, by so much, that I was honestly embarrassed to be seen with him. Literally, when I saw him for the first time, in his "regular" clothes, I was ready to turn the car around and run!

I'm glad I didn't, because it turns out that we click really well. I like him a LOT. But he dresses SO badly that I am embarrassed to be seen with him. I know that sounds shallow, but it almost seems like a joke, how badly dressed he is. Think Dwight Schrute, from The Office, meets Screech, from Saved By The Bell. It's THAT bad.

What can I do? I really don't want to hurt his feelings, but I am never going to be able to introduce him to friends and family, because his clothes are comically bad. I even tried to ask about it a little bit, to figure out if he was just trying to be "ironic" or whatever, and he honestly seems to think that his acid wash and 80s silk shirts, are awesome. OMG I would cry if someone saw me with him.

What do I do?

My friend is married to a HORRIBLE guy. No one wants her to be married to him. She is only 19 but has a 3 year old and is about to have her second baby. She is with this guy, because he is the father of her kids, but he is terrible...he is abusive, doesn't work, he is bipolar but won't take medicine, he got a DUI so she has to drive him around everywhere...and she is supposed to be on bedrest but she has to work 2 jobs, because he won't. Also, she is scared to leave her kids with him, because he is so horrible...

Anyway, I have offered to help her. I gave her a car. I offered to let her and her kids move in with me. I offered to help her apply for public aid and help her leave him, but she won't. She just keeps saying she loves him and feels like she should be with him...but yet all she EVER does is call me everyday crying about the latest thing he has done.

I don't know what to do. I feel really helpless. I want to help her, but she doesn't want to take my help. She just wants to cry about how awful her life is, and then refuse to do anything to change it. It is really stressing me out and wearing me down. I feel so bad hearing it day in and day out...what do I do?

I have seen hopeful adoptive parents, looking to pay for a birth mother's tuition, in hopes she would place her baby with them. Is it legal for a birth mother to place an ad, asking not for money, specifically, but for tuition, plastic surgery, a car, etc., in exchange for placing her baby? After all, if a couple goes through an agency, they will pay the agency a lot of fees anyway, and the birthmother gets nothing. So is that really more ethical, for everyone else, except the birth mother, to benefit? Is it legal for a woman to ask for plastic surgery or something, in exchange for her baby?

Photographs and films were not always able to capture color, but they could capture form, shadow, etc. Why was this? What enabled film to eventually be able to capture color?

Ok, so I have been aware of the existence of foot fetishes for a long time, but I thought that they were pretty rare. It has been my understanding that to be a "fetish," something has to be pretty uncommon and out of the ordinary. However, I have been hearing many men talk about liking feet, or it's important for a girl to have pretty feet. I have lots of questions about this!

First, for men who like feet, do you enjoy the feet as a stand-alone thing, or do you enjoy feet only if you already think the rest of the woman is attractive? E.g. if a woman is not really that "hot," but she has really nice feet, pedicured toenails, etc., and you can see her feet exposed, does this turn you on? Or does it have to be a girl who you already think is attractive, and you just happen to incorporate her feet into sexual activities, as well?

I have been seeing ads on craigslist, for men wanting to buy used shoes, and stuff. What is exciting about this?

Why do men with foot fetishes like to smell feet?

Do you prefer looking at/touching feet, over breasts, butt, etc.?

What exactly constitutes a sexy foot? If, for example, someone had a crooked toe from where it had been broken, or if someone's second toe was longer than their big toe, would this be a turn off for you, assuming that the feet were otherwise pedicured, etc.?

Do you generally just enjoy a varied sex life, and include an admiration for cute feet in this, or do you have to include feet in every encounter, in order to get off?

Thanks so much for answering these questions for me!