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I came out as trans (ftm) to a friend but she doesn't seem to understand. How do I explain it to her?

She genuinely doesn't seem to understand. A second later after I said it, she continued to call me by my deadname (despite the fact I said to call me Harry) and continued to use she/her.

She's getting to an understanding but I want her to FULLY understand.

How do I explain it to her?

Update:

What I mean by "said it" is said "I'm transgender."

Update 2:

thanks andrewcuomo, nice use of some big boy words

Update 3:

Sorry to keep updating this, but yeah, I get it, it's gonna take her some time. I hope she understands it eventually.

She did once call a pre-testosterone trans guy a "lesbian" because of his "girly face" (yes, her exact words). It was a year ago however.

11 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 week ago

    Tell her you need mental help and now

  • Anonymous
    1 week ago

    If you can't even explain it to yourself or her...why did you come out and why are you so sure it's real?

  • 1 week ago

    I don’t know.  If Her Friendship is important to You and, You value Her in Your life.  I think, You politely tell Her again to stop using Your deadname, because intentionally calling You by Your deadname is intentionally rude, harmful, and disrespectful to You as a Person.  

  • 1 week ago

    You are a woman. You need to stop living in this lazy delusion that reality needs to bend to suit your fantasies. 

  • 1 week ago

    You are a leech on society, and your friends should shun you until you go away for good.  

  • not
    Lv 7
    1 week ago

    My buddy's wife deadnamed him. I was to no longer call him Bob, it is now Robert. It's been over a decade and I still call him Bob sometimes. Good luck.

  • Anonymous
    1 week ago

    You are just going to have to keep patiently reminding her. Why don’t you - while sitting together - go through the pflag.org site and look up the parts about transgender peoples. She’ll probably keep messing up. But if you put a little time into teaching her she’ll eventually learn. 

  • 1 week ago

    Part of it probably is just habit. You have always been 'Sherry, she' and that it the first thing that comes to her head and tongue, instead of 'Harry ,he'.

  • Anonymous
    1 week ago

    You expect her to suddenly change her perception of your gender after knowing you for a time? That's unrealistic. Maybe try understanding her point of view instead of being so utterly self centered.

  • Anonymous
    1 week ago

    🥴😊

    Dont explain it. 

    She got the message. 

    Shes just not wanting to make a big deal out of it and spoil the fun. 

    Youve been accepted.

    Leave it.

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