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Is it normal to feel this way?

Like I hate watching happy romance movies càuse i just get jealous it doesn't make me happy i much prefer sad depressing movies where the main character suffers or is kidnapped or raped or something.

 I avoid watching YouTube videos I of happy people especially couple's like just now i stumbled across a vidoe of a couple announcing theie pregnancy and they were so damned happy it made me bitter and depressed.And when bad things happen in the world like people dying I feel rejuvenated and happy that that's not happening to me. Even simply seeing a happy couple or person I. The street makes me depressed.I don't know if I am so bitter because of the fact that I had literally zero friends in high school I talked to ******* nobody and nobody wanted to talk to me and I would hide during recess in the toilets or the library.

Update:

Now I'm 21 and in university

Update 2:

Am I'm a girl

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