Spiritual Help with Autistic Brother?

Question

Asking here because it's more highly frequented. 

My brother is autistic, which isn't a problem in and of itself.

It's just...he is trying to apply for all these colleges and things- private places and not public. He is no where near cognitively capable of studying these courses, but insists on spending thousands of dollars in tuition.

He mistakenly thinks all you have to do is do the course and all the film jobs will be his. 

I WANT him to feel succesful and have self-determination, but he refuses to listen to us. We can't flat out say "you don't have the mental ability to do this course".

He also refuses to have anything to do with disability programs. But he is constantly feeling defeated because he can't self-advocate. He goes to interviews- can't do them well or fumbles, and they won't hire him. If he went through a service, they'd advocate on his behalf. He refuses to let us do it too.

He has no concept of the value of money, so he thinks spending 10 thousand dollars on a 1 year course that won't get him work is nothing. 

But he refuses to listen to our advice- seek out a course at a public institution. Go through Disability Services. 

He hates to be labelled as "disabled" and fair enough- but then he also hates the disabled! He doesn't want to be associated with them which in my mind is bigoted.


I'm at my wit's end!? Attending classes as an audit isn't enough for him anymore, he is determined to earn a degree, but he is no where near mentally capable (this isn't a case of borderline- because many autistic people get degrees. His cognitive age is about 14. He struggled through a basic certificate and JUST made it through. A degree would be a waste of his money.)

What do I do? And please- a lot of people will say "Let him make his own decision"

Well, we're trying to take care of him in the FUTURE. He can only think of NOW. Spending $10 000 on a useless course is not taking care of his needs. Such as having something to survive on in the event none of us can.

Help :(

? · Accepted Answer

you need to put your foot down



you are just feeling sorry for him because of his disability


tell him the truth "you show no desire to help me out, no desire to take advantage of courses and opportunities that other people can't take advantage of.  You don't want to be labeled as disabled, but you are the one who creates your disability.  Everyone needs help in their life, everyone.  If you are serious about wanting to make a difference in your life then you need to do it in a way that is affordable and practicle."


something along those lines, I would also tell him that he is not the first kid who has had unrealistic dreams.  Don't tell him he can't go into film or whatever it is he wants to do, but he needs to put in the work and he needs to show commitment.


I can relate somewhat with my ADHD, not wanting to be labeled as different or inferior, my parents never really understood that and scarred me quite horribly during my childhood years by ignoring my feelings.


All I can say is this, he needs to know that he has limitations but you need to show him how to work around them.

Always be supportive of his dreams, but make sure he knows what he is going to have to do to make them real.

? · Answer

Hello. 

I think the best thing you can do is introduce your son to the teachings of A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. He has translated and published over EIGHTY volumes of very scientific, transcendental literature. Besides this, your son can become very practically experienced in whatever he likes-such as film- while dovetailing it into the service of the Supreme Personality, Godhead. Also your son can benefit very practically by coming to a Hare Krishna temple and associating with so many nice people; all temples have a feast and guests are welcome anytime! Our Founder-Acharya, Srila Prabhupada stressed very much that this is a scientific movement and it is not sectarian; we worship the Supreme Personality of Godhead WHO IS also the same God of Abraham and Lord Jesus and also of Mohhamad, so your son is never "changing religions".  I hope you will consider introducing your son to this as I am sure he will enthusiastically take to this process. If you yourself would also like to read more on this please go to www.vedabase.com where you can read online for FREE most published books by A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. Reading the Bhagavad-Gita first is very nice as it is the essence of this Hare Krishna philosophy; this title can be found specifically online at www.vedabase.com/en/bg (English Bhagavad-Gita).

Thank You 

                Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare 
                  Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare

Thank you

Spiritual Help with Autistic Brother?

2 Answers