Why so feisty, fellow Wiccans?

Eh, I have to admit I'm guilty of this, and I of all people shouldn't be, since I am still studying this religion and am so naive compared to many people.

So now I try to be a lot better about this. Because, yes, people are often misinformed, but that isn't their fault. But there are ways to inform people without being super blunt and I think so people just get sick of answering the same silly questions and get a bit harsh with it. Because yes, one may be answering the same, "What kind of spells should I put in my Book of Shadows" question for the hundredth time, but the person asking truly doesn't know they're asking something for that hundredth time. I know that no one intends to ever be unnecessarily harsh, but sometimes the answers come off -- to me at least-- as rude. So I understand what you mean completely.

So um... That's my input.

The question is not "honest" when it is based solely on, say, the Craft or House of Night.

I get snappy when people claim they have been studying a lot, or feel it really calls to them, and then their question makes it very, very clear they haven't studied at all, and by is "calling to them" means "it sounds nifty." It's a religion, not a hobby.

As for saying they have to figure it out themselves, that's just a simple fact when I say it. I can't tell them what deity is calling to them or if their deity approves or disapproves of something they are doing. If they asked me if their boyfriend loves them, I'd say the same thing. I'm not their boyfriend. i don't even know their boyfriend. I'm not going to speak for him. Wicca is absolutely NOT a prophetic religion. We do not say "The Goddess demands this." Anyone who *does* say that needs to be decried very publicly. What the gods expect of me is between me and them. They have no message for all of humanity to be spoken through me their chosen vessel.

I attempt to answer honest and curious questions, but I take offense at people who want me to reinforce a delusion they formed over the weekend, particularly if they then claim to be well-versed in the topic. And you need to be blunt with these people if you have a chance of getting a contrary idea into their head.

Well, I'm not a Wiccan - but I think that the answer lies in why a lot of people on this site are confrontational: They can be. It's anonymous. When we can be anonymous, we tend to put our usual manners aside. A "high and mighty" attitude comes across. Sure, some users will deny that the tone that you notice is snippy or feisty because they get a sense of power from answering with that tone. To someone on the outside, it would just seem that they are insecure, because if this is where you are an expert in your field, oh my, that's not saying too much. I think that this attitude may come out perhaps more in answers from minority religions - or other lifestyle or family choices that aren't as common - because they're used to being put down and questioned. So, then they see responding with an authoritative tone as a way to give themselves legitimacy and to shut out the questioners. I think that tone backfires. To many it makes the answer look snotty and defensive. And with all due respect, reading a snippy or feisty answer with a smile just makes it ever the more insincere and condescending. What do arrogant people do but sit and snicker at those they see as not as educated or good as they are? But like I say, this isn't just Wiccans, it's all over this site. And of all religions, I could understand this from one that as you say, "draws the short end of the stick", but it seriously doesn't give the impression the writer would want. It just reads as elitist.

I don't see how it's being snappy to help people understand something when they're missing the point.

People want "Wicca spells"-- which is a misnomer. Someone wanting to be Wiccan should know that... I actually assume that if they are sincere they'd want to know that, so I try to oblige them.

People worry about a book of shadows--- they should know it's not something to worry about.

People want to know things like "what Gods should I be worshipping"-- instead of throwing out random names to mislead them, I would think they'd appreciate to know that this is an answer they need to give some time and thought and figure out.

That isn't snappy-- if someone is honestly misguided, I give them the credit for wanting an honest answer, even if it's not as simple and sweet as they would wish it was.

A lot of times you think you are reading an angry answer or question on this forum, if you go back and read it with a smile on your face in a friendly way you'll find that it wasn't, in fact, angry; but in the absence of inflections, when someone tries to be straightforward, it can sound cold. Really it's just an attempt to offer some clarity.

@A: With all due respect to you, I never said a snotty answer sounds better with a smile.

I said if something sounds cold or blunt, go back and read it with a smile, and sometimes you find it was not actually as snotty as you might have thought it was in the first place.

Obviously some answers are rude and snotty no matter how you read them-- but I don't see how simply clarifying mistaken information alone makes for an automatically snotty answer. How does it really help someone who is confused to pat them on the head and reinforce their confusion?

The internet is very cosmopolitan and can reach all corners of the Earth so you will get varying attitudes and ideas when asking questions. Just accept it, they wont all be nasty.

That's right.

Feisty Wiccan Yam.

Mmmmm....