Question for your teenage self?

Question

My 18 year old daughter is dating a guy that everyone in our family thinks is an absolute wrong choice for her. Not just immediate family - I'm talking aunts, uncles, grandparents and her friends etc.

He speaks down to her, uses and goes through her 'phone, says really bitchy things and then claims it's a 'joke' and (in my opinion) bullies her by being passive aggressive and sulky. 

She was recently hospitalised with severe abdominal pain and he thought it would be fun to poke her belly to 'test' if the morphine and oxycodone was working yet - yes! the pain was that bad ): They broke up yesterday after he objected to being told how unsupportive he had been while she was ill but he now seems to have convinced her to give him another shot. They had a screaming fight and he damaged our front door through slamming and/or hitting it but now it is all supposed to be fine :( 

We have tried to be as supportive of her as we can but I think the horrendous peer bullying that she has been through has left her vulnerable to this type of control. My major concern is that through his controlling and manipulative behaviour he is alienating her from her support network (both friends and family). My friends that I have seen date men who exhibited these behaviours have ended up in very abusive relationships. 

Please, can anyone give me some advice on how to help her to see that she deserves better than this?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

If she refuses to listen to your advice, there isn't much you can do. I guess you should ask her what she likes about that guy, and make her realize that her decesion to take him back was probably a bad one.

If she does listen to you, you should basically just repeat what you said in your question's details.

Precious Gem · Answer

Ask her to go to counseling to find out if her choice is in her best interest. Make a deal with her that
if the counselor says she is making good choices then you will support her decision. Then privately tell the counselor your concerns. My question is why didn't you file charges against the 'boyfriend'
when he damaged your front door?

? · Answer

leave that as* hole  behind, tell  them its OVER between u 2!!!!!!!!
because if they get back together-this might happene--------->lets say u werent at home or her dad wasnt at home...and ur daughter and her  boyfriend, were siting next to each other or doing somethnig watching a movie eating...etc and suddenly they get into another fight and he yells at her then he might hurt that poor 18 year old girl, what if he punches her hard or does something really bad to her, while ur not there, becareful of that guy and  stay close to ur daughter, and one more thing......... tell them =D it FREAK'N OVER BETWEEN THESE 2 >:(
good luck

? · Answer

Counseling would be of  benefit and sadly she will learn through her mistakes of  dating men.

Anonymous · Answer

tell him he has to prepared your damaged door immediately

report it to the cops

get a restraining order

see a therapist for additional assistance

you don't want to force your daughter to run to his arms

peace

Question for your teenage self?

5 Answers