Two 19 year old guys........?

Question

OK, I have to male friends, both 19yo.  I am a lot older than them, but we see each other often.  So these 2 guys, lets call them John and Jim, have been inseparable for about 10 years.  (I think that they may have had a little bit of a 'bromance' happening).  But they appear to me to be basically straight.  Always going out together (with girls), and life seemed such fun for both of them.  To cut a long story short, John has found himself a steady girlfriend and is engaged to her.  Jim is shattered!  He just mopes around, won't go out, not even with the boys, and is not interested in anything.  I don't think that he is to the stage of being suicidal, but it really hurts me to see him this way.  I need some suggestions to get him out of the house and enjoying life again.  He won't even come out for a drink with me, an I think I would be his 2nd best friend.  Please help!!

Danny Dix · Accepted Answer

Hi Nutz,

just tell him that the sooner he gets out there and scores a chick friend for himself, they can all go out together and it will be even more fun than before....and he might even get to sit next to his old mate sometimes.

Danny

dartagnon p · Answer

Explain to him that once the "romance" wears off he will be back in the public spotlight.  This happened to me years ago but after a few months my friend got "used to" his girlfirend and started to go our with the "guys" again and now he shoots darts and all sorts of stuff to get out of the house.  

Tell your friend that it is not like his friend has died ... although it may FEEL like it now ... and that he will be able to talk to his friend again soon.  It's not the end of the world for him.

Try to fill in in the meantime and let him know that you are there for him and call him once a week and ask him out on the weekends for a beer or a coffee and maybe a chess or tennis match ... or whatever you both enjoy!

I AM 
Dartagnon

Anonymous · Answer

Tell him he is never going get a woman being sad and sitting around the house all day........tell him u are going to annoy him with daily visits that last way to long if he doesn't come out with you :) Say things to make him smile. Or make him think you need him as in im having a bad day and just need someone to hang with or the world might end cause im a raging ball of hell.....I hope the best for you........erase hurt with laughter...

Anonymous · Answer

Perhaps going outside is too big of a step for him, so try just hanging around with him at his house. Get him a little happier. Just do whatever you 2 are into: video games, drinking, pool/darts, etc. and make sure he enjoys himself.

Then, when you think he is happier, try and get him to go for drinks with you.

Small steps at a time are the key.

? · Answer

I would wait and let this phase pass. After all of that, he will may be ready to listen to you. If you try to say anything when things are fresh, he may get snappy. It's kind of sad he can't have fun without his best friend. He sounds needy, and he may cling to you next. You need to attend to your friends too, and can't drop all things because Jim is mopey.

Anonymous · Answer

I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar.

Anonymous · Answer

that's awesome
try to talk to him more
be friendly
help him if he has a problem
listen to him
know him better

Anonymous · Answer

"BROmance?" lmao did you just make that up?

Two 19 year old guys........?

8 Answers