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Do you think keeners (professional mourners) have any place at today's funerals?
I have heard that they were used to help the loved ones of the deceased to release their emotions, to cry and "get it all out" so to speak. To help the healing process.
My beloved dad died 2 days ago, and I believe that I may be in kind of a state of shock. It didn't come unexpectedly, however. I have cried, but not the deep healing type of tears that I know I need. I find myself swallowing my tears and sorrow down so as not to make others uncomfortable. My dad did not want any kind of services, but the sense of loss is intense, and it got me to thinking about the professional mourners. Thus my question.
And in clarification-since my dad requested no kind of services, we are not even contemplating keeners, but it got me to wondering. Thanks
I posted this before, but when I tried to add details, I messed it all up and had to delete it. Excuse the double posting.
2 Answers
- Elwood BluesLv 61 decade agoFavourite answer
Interesting question. The grieving process is very important for healing , and the keeners can do little but cause further mourning over the loss of money wasted on their imitation of an important and private expression.
How long will you need to grieve? Perhaps this is best answered by another question, "How far are you willing to let yourself dive into the grieving process?" Heartfelt, body-racking sobs not only give grief an outlet, they provide soul-washing chemicals that heal physical and psychic pain. Some find an outlet in punching a pillow or shrieking in rage. Whatever your manner of expression, let it flow. Your body and mind has a profound need, and only you (not keeners) can make it happen.
Best wishes to you.
- VampLv 71 decade ago
I am sorry to hear of your loss. You are right that there is a stage of shock where you do not seem able to take in what has happened. Please do not feel the need to hide your sorrow from others because of the fear of making them uncomfortable. Grieving is a natural and necessary part of life.
As for professional mourners. Part of the reason for having professional mourners was to make a "big show". This was partly to impress the neighbours and partly to appease the spirits of the departed - if you did not give them a good send-off they might hang around and haunt you.
Ideally the mourners would be family, friends or clients (people you looked after one way or another) but the rich could afford to top up the numbers.
There is also the "herd instinct" of humans beings which means that we find it easier and more acceptable to do things if the rest of the group is doing it. As you say showing emotion is one of those things.
Best wishes.
