What can I do when someone constantly puts themselves down?

If someone puts themselves down for their smarts OR their body, both relate to the same thing: low self-esteem.

I used to always put myself down without regards to the message I was sending to other people, which was that I didn't like myself.

One day, my best friend just told me to stop. It was such a simple but brutally honest thing to say, and it shocked me at the time when I was looking for pity points (sad but true). But I have to say, since that time, it was a wake-up call to stop putting myself down.

So my answer to both is simply be honest and tell them to cut it out, because whether they realize it or not, they're amazing people who don't deserve to live with self-doubt! :)

I'm sure when you try to tell them they aren't so bad, and they will just say "oh you're just saying that to make me feel better, you won't tell me the truth."

It's like they think you are acting like their mother and giving them unconditional positive regard and they are rejecting it.

That aside, I would suggest you ask them if they think you have any redeeming qualities. Then you could say, "how is that any different from your ability to do this or that." They are just feeling down and since they are unable to figure out what part of there situation is causing them so much trouble, the last thing they are left with is there self to blame. Most people place the blame on external factors, not on themselves. So it is actually really powerful for someone to know when they are at fault, but they can go overboard.

Well for both I just encourage them for a while. Say nice things randomly and not just after they say something bad about themselves.

If they continue for too long I just ignore the comments and continue the random compliments. Giving them attention and compliments when they say bad things about themselves can encourage the problem because they know you'll say something nice about them every time.

buy a good book for them

one that's on the topic

and not boring

give them it as a gift to make them smile

and watch them push themselves up other than down...i hope i helped! :)

Stop pretending you know how to help them and just be with them.