"The ones who are truly your friends will be there." Is this always the rule? Need some insight?

To be fair, even though you invited in August, they may have already had commitments with their families, etc. I do not think you should make a big deal about it, but I would gather that they are not your "forever" friends. Meaning that they are your friends for this time in your life and your shared circumstances, but your friendship may not flourish beyond that. I could be wrong though. Regardless, you are right to feel disappointed. Focus on the positive...2+ less mouths to feed!

No, I don't think this is ALWAYS the rule. Sometimes work, other family commitments/plans, or finances can and will totally prevent people from being able to attend.

My wedding will be on a "minor" holiday (Halloween 2009), and I will have about 60% of the guest list needing to travel to attend and I'm sending save-the-date cards a year beforehand with hotel/motel info. And I will be sending the invites out 3months before the wedding also. That gives everyone a great deal of advance notice.

Well before August I usually know what I'm doing for the holidays and often have family commitments already made. Maybe the same goes for your friends?

Also, being students, how much financially can they afford to spend in order to attend your wedding? You don't mention where in MA you are, but if you are near a big city, such as Boston, prices can be high and even higher around the holidays. And if you aren't close to Boston, what airport would they fly into? How pricey is it? Or would they have to fly in somewhere and pay to rent a car to get to the wedding?

Personally, I don't like flying much at all and I do everything I can to avoid flying in the wintertime (Dec - Jan - Feb) because the weather, especially in the Northeast where I'm from, can be crazy.

It's not a 'once in a lifetime' event for them, it's just a good party that is going to cost them a lot of money, time & hassle to get to. I would have been devastated if my life long friends had declined my wedding (although I had it in a very convenient place for them!) but not if those I went to Uni with decided that travelling thousands of miles on a big holiday didn't. They have lives and families too.

When I was in grad school, there was no way I could afford to travel that far for a wedding. Think about it: travel expenses, hotel, food, gift, etc. To be honest, even now, on a teacher's salary, it would be a stretch..... Also, the Christmas Holidays was very important family time, I needed to spend it with my family. Whoever said that "The ones who are truly your friends will be there." was way off base, in my opinion. It could just as easily be said that "if she is my true friend, she will understand my limitations." I think you are worrying way too much about it. Be happy with them, enjoy their company, be their friends, don't stress over things that you don't have to. Everything is going to work out the way it is supposed to. You are going to have a wonderful wedding!

It's expensive, inconvienient and a holiday. Many people have annual plans with family and friends for New Years. Some even plan vacations months in advance. You picked new years, so you should understand that even close friends may not be able to come.

Ok. So i think you should go with your first instinct and not be upset about your friends declining your wedding. I see more reasons for them to decline your wedding besides the 2 you listed. For one, as you say, they only get 2 weeks off....when's the next time they will get to see their family? and it's a holiday, maybe they already had plans. and as dental students they most likely do not have any source of income except for loans (at least that's how it was for my DH and his classmates when they were in dental school). So, now they would have to pay to travel to your wedding and give a gift.

When my husband and i got married, we planned it from across the state. We were living and working in the city of his residency, but going to get married in my hometown (where he went to dental school). I became very good friends with several girls at work who were happy and excited for my when i became engaged. I invited them all and NONE of them came. THey said it was just too expensive to travel and it just wasn't feasible. THey all had jobs, as did their husbands. I was sad they didn't come b/c i would have had fun with them. But in all honosty, there were SO many people at my wedding....family, old friends, parents friends, husbands friends, husbands family, etc. that i was too busy/happy/excited to miss them while living the wedding. ANd they had fun listening to me tell about the day and look at all my pics.

No, it's not always the rule.

When I was in law school, I was broke. Tuition and books and rent took everything I had, and I ate with whatever I had left in my wallet. I would have been incredibly bummed out by a friend who wrote me off because I wasn't able to travel out of state for a wedding.

"The ones who are truly your friends will be there." Is this always the rule?"

Not always the rule. I have good friends from out of town who weren't able to make it to my wedding as they had a family reunion on the same weekend with elderly relatives who might not be around much longer whom they wanted to see. Any other weekend, they could have made it to my wedding.

Also, we invited some good friends from across the country, but the cost was too prohibitive for them to attend.

Another good friend (local), was in a quandary b/c she was invited to two weddings on the same day, but fortunately, due to the timing, she was able to make it to both.

It doesn't mean they are less of friends - it's totally probably because of the date you have chosen. I would think that in this case only very close family would move heaven and earth to be there - and other guests who are free and able to.

If they're still students, they probably don't have that much cash. It's expensive to fly and then pay for a hotel in the area. Not to mention the price for the gift and any clothing they may have to buy. I think it's asking a bit much to expect students to be able to make it.